Driven to Distraction (Revised) by Edward M. Hallowell & John J. Ratey

Author:Edward M. Hallowell & John J. Ratey [Hallowell, Edward M. & Ratey, John J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2011-09-13T00:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-FIVE TIPS ON THE MANAGEMENT OF ADD WITHIN FAMILIES

1. Get an accurate diagnosis. This is the starting point of all treatment for ADD.

2. Educate the family. All members of the family need to learn the facts about ADD as the first step in the treatment. Many problems will take care of themselves once all family members understand what is going on. The education process should take place with the entire family, if possible. Each member of the family will have questions. Make sure all these questions get answered.

3. Try to change the family “reputation” of the person with ADD. Reputations within families, like reputations within towns or organizations, keep a person in one set or mold. Recasting within the family the reputation of the person with ADD can set up brighter expectations. If you are expected to screw up, you probably will; if you are expected to succeed, you just might. It may be hard to believe at first, but having ADD can be more a gift than a curse. Try to see and develop the positive aspects of the person with ADD, and try to change his family reputation to accentuate these positive aspects. Remember, this person usually brings a special something to the family—special energies, special creativity, special humor. He (or she) usually livens up any gathering he attends, and even when he is disruptive, it’s usually exciting to have him around. He punctures bombast and does not tolerate fools. He is irreverent and not afraid to speak his mind. He has a lot to give, and the family, more than any group of people, can help him reach his potential.

4. Make it clear that ADD is nobody’s fault. It is not Mom’s or Dad’s fault. It is not brother’s or sister’s fault. It is not Grandmother’s fault, and it is not the fault of the person who has ADD. It is nobody’s fault. It is extremely important that this be understood and believed by all members of the family. Lingering feelings that ADD is just an excuse for irresponsible behavior or that ADD is caused by laziness will sabotage treatment.

5. Also make it clear that ADD is a family issue. Unlike some medical problems, ADD touches upon everybody in the family in a daily, significant way. It affects early-morning behavior, it affects dinner-table behavior, it affects vacations, and it affects quiet time. Let each member of the family become a part of the solution, just as each member of the family has been a part of the problem.

6. Pay attention to the “balance of attention” within the family. Try to correct any imbalance. Often, when one child has ADD, his siblings get less attention. The attention may be negative, but the child with ADD often gets more than his share of parents’ time and attention day in and day out. This imbalance of attention can create resentment among siblings, as well as deprive them of what they need. Bear in mind that being the sibling of a child with ADD carries its own special burdens.

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